Operation Caffeination

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Burn, baby

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Jon and I visited his extended family in Poetry, Texas once, back when we were newlyweds and still cared enough about manners to spend our scarce money and even scarcer free time on a bunch of relatives we don’t know or particularly like (clearly, I have been cured of this affliction).

As I understand it, Poetry is known mainly for its drive-thru beer barn, which isn’t actually in Poetry itself because Poetry is just too rural for fancy shit like this. There’s plenty of space where a business could be constructed in Poetry, of course, it’s just that that space is all being used for the indefinite parking of rusted-out cars right now.

Of course, the South being the South and all, we were treated to a potluck dinner during our visit. The food was undeniably delicious and I was lucky enough to be able to track down some of the recipes (which was no easy task).

After our meal was complete, however, our host noticed a guest browsing through the kitchen cupboards in search of a garbage can.

“Is that just a styrofoam plate?” she inquired. “You can just add it to the pile on top of the drier in the laundry room.”

“You sort your garbage?” the guest asked, surprised.

“Well, we sort out the things to add to the burn pile,” our host smiled.

“Oh!” the guest laughed, relieved. “For a minute there I thought you were one of them, uh, en-viro….um, en-viron-men’al-ists!”

And that, my friends, is undoubtedly the story of how my husband and I, along with the entire city of Poetry, Texas, contracted cancer and died. The end.


Written by GRSeim

March 26, 2012 at 5:52 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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